Even before the ink was dry on the divorce papers, Rob and I became an item. I guess you could call it that. At least I thought so. Now, looking back, I'm pretty convinced I was more a steady booty call for him at the time.
He'd already broken up with his girlfriend and I gladly took her place.
We kept our relationship a secret (which seemed to fit right in with the way I'd been living for the past couple of years) because I wasn't sure how everyone would react.
My sister was still friends with Carla & Grant, something that grated on me. Whenever she would chat about them, I would tell her to be discerning or careful. Of course she had no idea why I was saying that.
She and I talked about this just recently...we can't remember the timeline for when I finally told her. But I eventually dropped the bomb. I think it was actually before I moved back to Arkansas for the second time. When her husband, my brother-in-law Chris found out, he went berserk.
You see, Chris and Grant were never in danger of being friends. Sure, there was a time that they were chummy because my sister adored them and was best friends with Carla. But, as Grant tended to do with most men, he rubbed Chris the wrong way. Too many chiefs, you could say. Alpha Dog and all that.
So, Chris sunk his teeth into this new way to bring Grant down off his 'high horse.' He went before the church. So, it was brought back up all over again. In came Tony and his wife this time (I have no idea why she wasn't included the first time), Grant and Carla, Roy and Connie and Chris and Missy. Meetings were held, voices were raised. Feathers were ruffled.
As far as I remember (since I was not included in these meetings) still nothing happened. Other than some bruised egos. In fact, I think everyone involved (other than my sister and brother-in-law) was more annoyed that I had rehashed it and dared tell anyone else about it. In their minds it had been settled once and for all at the last set of meetings. I think they thought I was being vengeful. More of my supposition.
My sister became just as disillusioned with the church as I had become. She was in a bad place...hurting for me and hurting for her lost friendship and the realization that the people she thought she knew and trusted had kept this secret for years. A secret that affected someone she dearly loved. Yours truly.
Fast forward now back to where I left off.
So, here I am home again. Living with my parents. Doug officially filed for dissolution and had an attorney. We discussed everything in advance. We both met with the attorney and put it all on paper. When we got to the part about separating assets, we only had credit cards to divvy up.
The part about whether there were any children as part of the union got me.
We answered "No" but in my heart I still grieved the loss of our child.
For some reason, I always felt if the baby had lived it would have been a girl. I named her (if only in my heart). Adrianna.
Anyway, the day came for us to appear in court and finalize everything. My good friend from work, Sharyn went with me. Doug and I went in the courtroom. We both got up and testified about where we were married and that we agreed to dissolve the marriage. And then it was over. Like that.
We left the courtroom, and as Sharyn and I were walking down the stairs to go to our car, I glanced out the window and saw Doug drive past. That sight will always stick with me. It was the period on the end of a tumultuous 2 years.
But onward I went...with a new guy and a new outlook on life.
I was going to enjoy life and have a good time. I had tried the straight and narrow and it just didn't seem to lead to good things. I was now 20 years old and ready to take the world by storm.
I transferred to a different Penney's in a location about an hour away. I met some great frineds there too. Closer to my age. And they liked to go out.
Pretty soon, my life became all about going out, hooking up with Rob, and having a good time. I was still living with my parents, but slowly leaving things behind at Rob's house, and staying there the majority of the time.
The Internet had just come out then and Rob had it; dial up. He used to spend a lot of time on the computer looking up random things. (Red Herring #1)
For his birthday, I bought him a cell phone. It was one of those Zach Morris ones that was almost as big as his living room. (Red Herring #2)
Once when he went out of town, I went over to his place to take care of his rabbit. His home phone rang once and then abruptly cut off. I remember thinking that was weird. Another time, when he was there, his phone rang and then the answering machine picked up. But the volume was turned all the way down.
Another time (you're going to hear that a lot for a minute), I was getting ready in his room and I noticed a piece of paper on his dresser. He'd written, "Have to cancel. Rain check?" It wasn't a note to me. And it was with a bunch of miscellaneous "pocket" paraphenalia.
Another time he sat me down and asked me if I had left something on his front door. I said no until he finally believed me. Then he produced an enormous card that had lollipos taped all over it and a very crass message addressed to him. Um, no. Not from me.
And then....one day I got home (to my parents' house) to find a letter adressed to me in weird block letters. The actual letter was typed and was full of warnings to stay away from Rob because I was merely "another notch on his bed post." It was signed, "Your Worst Enemy."
Needless to say, I was freaked out.
I went to his house immediately, but he wasn't home. I looked in his mailbox (I don't know what possesssed me to do that) and found a card from his ex-girlfriend with the same postmark (out of town) that the letter had. It had arrived the same day as my scary letter. Hmmmm, I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but...
I went to the police thinking that my life had just been threatened. Naturally, they could do nothing. I finally was able to show Rob the letter and presented my theory that his ex had sent it. He said he would handle it.
Sometime later, at night, he said he talked with her on the phone. I tried repeatedly to call him during this time, but his line was busy for close to an hour. When I finally did get through to him, he told me how he confronted her and she denied it.
Soon, it was forgotten.
On another trip out of town (Rob told me he was going out of town to see his buddy) he presented me with a gift. It was in a shopping bag. A sweater (and an ugly one, at that). And there was something else...the receipt. And guess what? It was bought in another town far from his buddies.' Interestingly (coincidentally?) it was bought in the same town where his ex lived.
I was furious. I asked him to fess up about where he bought it. He didn't know that I'd seen the receipt. He swore up and down that he'd bought it in his buddy's town. Finally, I threw the receipt at him.
Egg.on.the.face.
He finally had to admit that he'd been in his ex's hometown BUT not there to see her. He was there to see his other friends from when he'd lived there years before (which is how he met her.)
I accepted that lame excuse. The me of today wants to shake the me of years ago.
I knew he'd been seeing someone else before me even while he was with his ex girlfriend. This other girl lived far away, but he said they'd hook up when she was in town. From what I understood, she was pretty out there and not afraid of a good time.
I also knew that when he worked at all these other JCPenney's stores in different cities, he'd had affairs with several women at each. Even while he was with his then girlfriend.
Ugh. There are so many things wrong with that-- I don't even know where to start.
What was wrong with me??
Pretty soon, Rob found out he was being transferred. He found another job that landed him in another city. And he asked me to move with him.
